I was wandering around the internet and i stumbled upon this article – “100 ways to live a better life”, which I thought was too cool not to share. And by “cool” I mean “long, elaborate and with a lot of useless advice”. However, I am going to go through every single point on that list and when I reach the 100th one I’ll decide: bullshit or no bullshit. Right, here we go!
So, I’m going to ignore the long-term solutions, like, for instance, the first two: 1. Accept your mistakes and 2. Accept your friends’ mistakes
Number 3 talks about creating a new habit so I guess I’m on the right track. But number 3 also takes me to another article, which promises to help me do that in just 15 days. Now, 15 days sounds sufficiently good, but then you start reading – first day, “name your habit”. Exactly, if you want to, say, start running every day, the very first thing you have to do is write it down. I mean, that seems like the perfectly logical thing to do, not putting on your damn running shoes and dash out the door. But on the other hand, the whole plan revolves around writing about your habit for a seemingly more amount of time than you spend actually creating the routine you wanted. Moving on!
I skipped some more numbers (later to be reviewed) and we’re down to number 17: wake up early. I love waking up early! It feels like time morphs into a giant bubble just to give you endless hours to do every little thing you planned to do in one single day. What sucks about waking up early, though, is the fact that when you jump out of bed 3 hours before you usual waking-up time, a little being magically appears and follows you throughout your day, smacking your head with a gianormous wooden bat every 10 minutes just because it’s fun. It’s not fun for me, bitch!
Time to turn to google again, which has quite a lot to say about waking up early (or “missing the most delicious part of sleep” as I like to call it). The thing is, every one is so big on lists and if post yet another one here, this article becomes a cascade of numbers and bullet points, a true listception, and that is not something I want. So suffice it to say that the best solution is probably setting an alarm and moving it 5 minutes (or 10…15?) earlier every day. Stay tuned, tomorrow you’ll find out if I’m typing a post alone or there is a small armed creature waiting for me to make the slightest mistake and whack me in the head. “IT’S «YOU’RE»! USE THE FUCKING APOSTROPHE, YOU USELESS INCOMPETENT!!”